HIV for men in relationships

Deciding whether or not to test

Deciding to go for a test is something that you may either do together, or alone. The issues involved have already been discussed in " Should I test for HIV?"

For men in relationships it can be difficult when one partner tests, or wants to test and the other doesn't. It's important to try and understand each other's decisions and respect individual choices in the matter. Talk it over. It's important to respect your partner's decisions around testing and that your partner respects yours.

Don't try to coerce or guilt trip your partner into doing something they're not comfortable with. If they don't want to go for a test, or if they don't want to fuck without condoms unless you both get tested, it doesn't mean they don't trust you and it certainly doesn't mean they don't love you. Find ways to resolve the issue.

What if both of you don't want to test? Is this a problem? Many gay men choose not to test, and some couples decide that it would be easier for them to not know each other's status. This is of course fine if both of you practice safer sex.

However if you decide to stop using condoms on the assumption that you are either both positive, or both negative, then you are taking a risk. You could be putting either yourself or your partner at risk of infection with HIV.