Coming Out: the scene

What is it?

The scene is a term used to mean gay bars, cafes, discos, lesbian and gay centres and shops - places that cater for gay people, where you can meet friends and have fun. Mostly these are based in Glasgow and Edinburgh, with smaller scenes in Aberdeen, Dundee and Inverness.

If you live in a more rural area, you may not be able to get to a scene, in which case the contacts at the end of this booklet may be even more important. Some people love the gay scene and once they discover it are out nearly all the time. For others it can be intimidating, boring or expensive.

What happens?

People meet, chat, dance and eat.

Do I talk to people?

To some, coming out is important because it helps them make new friendships and close relations. If you want to talk to someone, that is okay. Some people may chat to you to try to pick you up. You can choose to say yes or no to sex, and still have a chat and make friends. Decide for yourself what you want out of talking to people.

Do I have to behave in a certain way?

You may feel pressured to 'act gay '. But, there is no correct way to behave. Everyone is different. We all have our own unique desires, personalities and bodies. So, you don 't have to try to 'look gay ' either!! You will probably be happier if you can try to relax and be yourself.

Am I more attractive because I'm young?

Some people prefer older men, some their your own age, and some like men because they are young. Hopefully you will meet people who are interested in who you are, not how old you are.

Will everyone want to have sex with me?

Someone who is keen on you may well approach you. If you are not interested, say no. If you are, say yes. And if you're not sure, say you're not sure. Sex is best if you are completely happy with what you're doing.

What if I want sex?

Then find someone you fancy who wants to join you. Or enjoy a wank on your own. If you have sex with others, do you know about safer sex? (See SEX). Finding a sexual partner can be difficult. Not everyone will want to have sex with you. Some will be in a strictly 1-2-1 relationship, some people don't want sex and others may not fancy you. Sex is best when the people involved want the same things. Listening to people can help you work out what they want. At the same time, you can tell them what you want.